Dreams

“My vision of healing is the end of suffering.” -Deepak Chopra

There is a difference between being cured and being healed. Being cured means restoration of health or free of disease, usually through modern Western medicine. Being healed on the other hand means to become whole and balanced, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It is possible to be cured without being healed or to be healed without being cured. I believe if you are able to heal yourself from within, you are at a greater advantage of being cured of any disease or ailment on the physical level.

I started seeing Dr. Christopher Sowton shortly after my diagnosis. He is a naturopath, homeopath and specializes in dream work. I was so nervous meeting Chris the first time, my knees shook uncontrollably. As we began speaking I found him to be very easy going, non judgmental and he listened to me very intently. One of the first questions I asked him was if he thought I could beat the cancer. Without skipping a beat, he looked at me and said, “Oh yeah!” There was no question in his mind that I could be healed. Whether he was right or wrong, just seeing the certainty on his face and hearing it in his voice lifted my spirit and gave me strength and motivation.

Working with Chris is a long and often difficult and uncomfortable healing process. I relate it to being like an artichoke, we peel off one layer at a time until one day you get to the heart. Like our thoughts, some leaves just fall away when acknowledged. Others are stubborn, they hold on so tight, they don’t want to let go. Some I tried to avoid all together because of the fear of the pain it would uncover. However, I knew that I could not get to the heart without peeling back every leaf.

Chris and I Skype every three weeks. With a smile on his face, rosy cheeks and white hair, his first questions are, “How are you doing, what’s new and what have you been dreaming?” Most people say they can’t remember their dreams. I was the same until I started speaking with Chris. I began dreaming very vividly almost every night, remembered them in the morning and emailed them to Chris ASAP.

I often dream about the same things, water, whales, toilets and the inside of houses. Chris does not interpret my dreams, rather, he guides me back into my dream to help me understand what is going on in my life or my mind. If needed, we change the direction of the dream for the better, leaving me with a different perspective of the dream and in life.

 

“Dreams are important. They can be a way of opening a window, letting the bad air out.” Papa – The Shack

 

I will give you an example of a dream and how Chris and I worked with it.

This is a dream I had many years ago while going through treatment.

 

On Death Row With a Dentist 

I am in jail, on death row. I’m taken from my cell to the courtroom. I’m standing in the judges chamber, in front of his wooden desk. His desk is so tall, it looms above me. Behind it, I see a black, shadow figure…the judge. Found guilty twice before, I have one last chance before sentenced to death. I’m desperate for someone to help me, anyone! I feel like my time is quickly running out. 

At the last minute, Joe, a guy I went to school with came through the doors and into the room. I’m so relieved to see him because I know he went to Harvard to become a lawyer. He tells me he is a dentist. I’m confused, I don’t understand why he went to Harvard to become a dentist. I said, “I thought you’re a lawyer! A dentist can’t help me.” I was so disappointed.

When I worked on this dream with Chris, I felt frustrated. I was stopped from finding any meaning in it by the absurdity of being visited by a dentist while on death row. Was it so absurd? Being locked up in jail is the presence of a strongly limiting mindset. I was locked into a belief and could not escape it. I understand now that being on death row depicted my key problem at the time…my fear of death.

Chris asked me to re-enter the dream near the end, at the height of my disappointment and desperation. This is how the conversation went.

Chris – Now catch yourself. Imagine that the action stops, like a freeze frame in a movie. You have time to think, to be more conscious, open to new possibilities. What would you like to do?

Me – I’m not sure.

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Chris – Can you imagine that Joe can indeed help you, even though he’s a dentist.

Me – How!? What are the options? Can he get me out of here?

Chris – Maybe he can. Imagine that he opens the door. Do you want to go with him?

Me – Okay…….can we just walk out?

Chris – Try it. Visualize walking out of the courthouse, out of the whole building…..

I was so stuck in my limiting belief, I didn’t even know I was “allowed” to simply think about walking out.

I worked on visualizing walking out of the building several times until it felt like I really experienced walking free. This was critical and the key step in beginning to believe in my waking life that the brain cancer is not necessarily a death sentence.

Chris and I agreed it was odd that Joe presented as a dentist in my dream. He could have been a potential resource that I was not taking advantage of because I didn’t believe he could help me. At the time, neither of us could come up with a reason or explanation, so we agreed to think about it and hope that someday the dentist aspect would make sense.

Well, oddly enough, after having this dream over eight years ago, I once again dreamt of Joe just last week! It felt so real. When I saw him, I said, “Oh my God Joe!” And continued to tell him about the dream I had about him (is this getting too confusing?). After I finished explaining, I asked him, “So, are you a lawyer or a doctor?” That’s how the second dream ended, I didn’t get an answer.

I connect the first dream to the second dream and realize in both, Joe was in the medical field. He would be Dr. Joe whether he was a dentist or a doctor. Did I need Joe the lawyer to get me off of death row or did I need Dr. Joe to save my life? Maybe I was having a hard time truly believing my doctors and chemo were going to cure me. I was stuck in this limiting belief until I walked out of that courthouse with Joe. Whether he was a lawyer, a dentist or a doctor, the important part was that I walked away from death row. It completely changed the way I felt about my prognosis. Not only was I more positive, but I also felt more in control with everything in my life.

Thank you Chris and thank you Joe, whatever you are.?

Sweet Dreams,

Linda xoxo